Grand Theft Auto V was released 12 years ago now, the last instalment in the hit franchise that sees you stealing sh*t, killing people, interacting with freaks and oddballs, and generally messing around in a massive virtual sandbox. TWELVE YEARS AGO, in the PlayStation 3 and Xbox 360 generation! In 2013, I was struggling to find a job after college. I’m 50% older than I was back then, and I feel old.
This year, the developers of the lauded game, Rockstar, are going to release Grand Theft Auto VI, and it promises to be the biggest, baddest, most Florida entry yet. There is hope that GTA 6 will provide a financial boost to the industry that will help even the smallest of developers. A rising tide lifts all ships and so on. Hell, there are even rumors that GTA 6 will become one of the first $100 games, setting the new standard price for AAA games in the future.
But here’s the thing: besides the effects on the video game sector as a whole, I have no interest in GTA 6. I give no flying f*cks about that game. None. GTA is the epitome of games I do not want to play, and here’s why.
I’m gonna say it: GTA V was one of the biggest downgrades in enjoyment that I’ve ever seen in a franchise. Since release, I have completed around 10% of the story before I completely ducked out. IN TWELVE YEARS! The characters sucked, and the direction of the game, centering on heists, was just bleugh. Here are four missions to get you prepared for a big set piece you don’t care about to earn some money. Boring.
On top of that, the driving experience in this massive open world is annoying. Not only was the map too big, taking you way too much time to get anywhere, but the driving mechanics are so freaking bad. They are more realistic than the other games, with more accurate damage to the vehicle, but that’s not what I want from a GTA game. I want to speed around, ducking and weaving through traffic, and if I crash badly four or five times, I am able to swap the car without much of a penalty. I DO NOT want to have to worry about crashing a car and it getting pretty much totaled in one hit, careening out of the windscreen, resulting in a “Wasted.” Nor do I want it to slip and slide everywhere when I’m racing down the highway.
All of this could be forgivable if the character’s movements are great while on foot and the gunplay is awesome, but it isn’t. Again, fixating on realism, your character falls over, ragdolling very easily, and it seems to take minutes for them to get back up. Shooting weapons is fine, but it’s no better than GTA IV, and, arguably, the choice of weapons and modifications is detrimental to the experience.
GTA V was a massive disappointment.
What other games have there actually been recently?
Red Dead Redemption 2 is the only game developed and released by Rockstar Games in the last ten years, and even that was SEVEN YEARS AGO! And, sure, you can point to the technical achievement and the rich open world (those horse balls were anatomically accurate, so that’s something), but was it fun? I mean in the way that PS2 Rockstar games were fun: stupid sandboxes to just ride around in, causing chaos, thwarting sheriffs, etc.
Hell naw. Rockstar’s obsession with realism has encroached on their ability to deliver an enjoyable experience. Survival mechanics have no place in a Rockstar game, especially in a rootin’ tootin’ varmint jaunt in the Wild West. I don’t want to wash. I don’t want to take care of my horse. I don’t want to shave. Stop making me do things that aren’t fun. I can hear you screaming, “THOSE THINGS ARE OPTIONAL, YOU IDIOT!” OK, fine, but I’m penalised for not doing it. It sucks. Stop pushing simulation-style mechanics!
Max Payne 3 was the last fun game released by this studio back in 2012, and it wasn’t even their own IP or an open-world game. The last truly pleasurable open-world game from this studio was back in 2004, Grand Theft Auto: San Andreas. Even then, you could see the beginning of the end, introducing stamina and strength stats that were affected by working out or overeating. I’ve breezed way past Red Dead Redemption, a game that never teaches you how to fast travel and makes you pick flowers but doesn’t tell you how to find them, and GTA IV, a game that had driving mechanics so bad I chose to take cabs instead of driving when I could.
Rockstar has been on the decline for years.
Greed, am I right?
Shark cards in GTA Online have ruined the industry. I don’t think I’m harsh in saying that. Sure, there are sports games with their Ultimate Teams or VC for making your player 99-rated. There are TMNT, WWE and Godzilla skins in free-to-play games like Fortnite and Call of Duty. That’s par for the course. Shark cards are a different beast.
In 2023, ten years after GTA V’s release, Rockstar made over $700 million in Shark cards alone. This is the reason that they can afford to take a gazillion years to make games. This is the reason the corporate overlords keep thinking that gamers are primed for fleecing out of our hard-earned cash. Most of all, this is one of the reasons why GTA VI is going to be worse than ever.
We can kid ourselves into thinking Rockstar will care about the single-player experience, the story and the characters because it’s unlikely that GTA Online will ship initially with the game. However, this is a ruse. The single player is a distraction that gets you back into the Rockstar ecosystem. GTA Online will only be more egregious in this instalment, and that makes me sad.
If everyone is stuck in this black hole of a game, then I worry about games that will be released in the same vicinity. Microtransactions are the devil.
I’m not blind. There are obvious attractions to GTA VI. Rockstar makes technically great games, and their innovations push video games forward. There are technical leaps every time they make a game (even as few as they release). New tech in these games tends to find new homes in later productions, and that’s because of Rockstar.
It’s also likely that GTA VI will help the console market and bring lapsed players back into the fold. The more players we have, in theory, the more chances they’ll give other games in the market, boosting revenue and keeping studios alive for years to come. A trickle-down, as it were.
And, look, I’m probably in the minority of people with this point of view, but I stand by what I said. Rockstar has not made a fun game in over twenty years. I do not expect that to change with GTA VI. In fact, I expect the situation to deteriorate.
Urgh, how I long for the enjoyment that came from Vice City. I doubt Rockstar will deliver that ever again. Good luck to them, though, because they’re gonna earn $500 kazillion jillion in 24 hours later this year.
Just none of it will be from my wallet.
