No, I’m not going to be reviewing my own personal Thanksgiving dinner! That would be one out of ten: home alone but without the Macaulay Culkin hijinks.
Hey! Don’t feel bad! I’m British so I don’t celebrate!
What I did on Thanksgiving was to go to the movies and watch Thanksgiving, the new slasher film directed by Eli Roth. How meta is that?! But that’s not all. This is actually the full-length film based on the trailer within Quentin Tarantino’s Grindhouse. That was sixteen years ago! Talk about releasing your trailers too early! Don’t remember? Take a look below:
Okay, I didn’t remember it, either. But now we’re all caught up, let me tell you: as a slasher film, this is no turkey. But I’ve definitely had more nourishing meals.
It’s Thanksgiving, which means it’s the day before Black Friday, right? That’s the most important holiday of the year! So says the owner of the local Right Mart, who has decided, in his ultimate wisdom, to open on Thanksgiving night. Bad idea. The crowds are out of control, and there is little to no security on site. After some teens sneak into the store, securing the best deals for themselves, a riot breaks out. Death and destruction were on the menu, a tragedy for the town of Plymouth, Massachusetts.
One year later, a mysterious person in pilgrim garb and wearing a mask based on the appearance of the town founder, John Carver (yes, I can hear the pun), is out for revenge. Anyone linked with the Right Mart riot is on the chopping block, but there’s a special place setting at the dinner table for the teens who started it all. Will the teens be able to discover the identity of John Carver before their goose is cooked? Or are their giblets done for?
I can’t help it. Sorry, not sorry.
The characters are excellent. They are nothing new, but they fit the perfect slasher film archetypes. The small-town sheriff, Eric (Patrick Dempsey), is trying to stop the murders in his usually sleepy town. The asshole, loudmouth YouTuber Evan (Tomaso Sanelli), the person you want to slap in the face. The weird love interest, Bobby (Jalen Thomas Brooks), has ominously been “out of town” since the riot. And the final girl, Jessica (Nell Verlaque), the girl who was dragged into the originating riot in the first place by her asshole friends.
There are many more stereotypes as well! The wicked stepmother, the corporate greedy Right Mart owner, the slutty cheerleader, the jock, the stoner kid. I mean, the ensemble had to be purposely formed this way. It’s The Cabin in the Woods all over again!
Death sequences are also pretty damn cool. They lean heavily into the Thanksgiving themes, using everything from skewers to electric carving implements. And soooo much more.
There aren’t enough films dedicated to holidays other than Christmas and Halloween, so I say the more the merrier. Or the more the gory-er in this case. As with most Roth movies, graphic blood and guts make numerous appearances throughout, but that adds to the atmosphere and helps the narrative in special ways. And it’s not too gross… for the most part. The squelchiness feeds into the vibe of the film. It feels like a f*cked up potluck for Friendsgiving.
Bring your own meat. Eww, I creeped myself out.
Although I loved the cast of characters, I can’t help but think that Thanksgiving is a safe slasher film. It plays into all of the tropes of the genre and doesn’t do anything to surprise you. Yes, there are some cool kills, but that’s the least I expect from a slasher film. I’m sure there’s an element of parody, but that doesn’t detract from how formulaic it is.
As a result of this, it’s also painfully predictable. One of my favorite features of this genre is the mystery behind the masked killer. It must be borne from my obsession with Scooby Doo as a child. That’s all slasher movies are: gruesome, murdery, Scooby mysteries. It takes away from my enjoyment if I can guess the killer in the first half of the film. All of the tension is removed from some of the scenes, knowing the person “in danger” is going to survive or present an evil grin on the half-turn. The iconic unmasking moment needs weight, and I just didn’t feel it.
A slasher that can fool me is one that sticks with me. And this ain’t it.
After Machete and Hobo with a Shotgun, this is the third Grindhouse trailer adapted into a full-length feature, and I’m very happy it exists. Thanksgiving is an enjoyable holiday-themed slasher horror film with inventive on-brand kills. It has interesting yet stereotypical characters that, let’s face it, you’re itching to see skewered like a pig. Yep! Mostly, they suck!
However, this movie didn’t live up to my hopes from an Eli Roth helmed film. Although there are cool, gruesome moments, Thanksgiving is another standard slasher that didn’t keep me guessing about who was behind the mask.
But it is a fun, by-the-books slasher. And sometimes, that’s enough!
