Grab a web browser, type the name of your favorite fictional universe into the search bar, and add “fanfic.” Are the top results from Archive of Our Own (AO3.org) or FanFiction.net? Are there Reddit posts in the results? Are you already bookmarking things to read later? Wait… you’ve already left this article and started reading, haven’t you? Come back!
As fans, we’re hungry for more ways to immerse ourselves in the fictional universes that make us feel good. Those of us who enjoy creative writing sometimes find that immersion through writing fan fiction (a.k.a. “fanfiction,” “fan-fiction,” or just “fanfic”). For the uninitiated: fanfic is a broad term to describe non-canon fictional stories using elements of a preexisting universe. The term most often refers to stories by amateur or hobbyist writers who are passionate fans of a universe and its characters. Some fanfic writers produce incredible stories of their own in a wide variety of themes. These writers can find their target audience through fanfic sites like AO3. Thanks to a detailed tagging system, readers can search on specific criteria, including fandom, characters, relationships (“ships”), and common fanfic genres like hurt/comfort, angst, and family. Of course, there’s also erotica, which has its own diverse sub-categories.
Through fanfic, writers share their “headcanon,” or the details they’ve imagined to be true even though it isn’t officially canon. A person’s headcanon typically extends into areas the original storyteller doesn’t cover. Details that fanfic writers frequently explore include a character’s sexuality, mental state, and interpersonal relationships and conflicts. Through characters’ actions and dialog, fanfic writers can flesh out their headcanon while expressing something about their own way of thinking.
I’ve discovered fanfic writing to be useful beyond indulgence and self-expression. You see, as I write, I role-play each character, getting into their headspace as they think and react to certain situations. A similar form of role-play can also be an effective part of cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT), which I’ve used to manage my chronic anxiety. That’s why fanfic writing has become a valuable source of therapy for me.
I can hear your reaction now: “Therapy? That’s a bit much, isn’t it?”
Not at all! The role-playing aspect of writing prompts my own introspection. I typically write characters that I can relate to or who have been through experiences similar to my own. In my stories, those characters can discuss problems, handle conflicts, and experiment with new things. As I write, my characters work through and resolve their issues, and my brain finds new pathways around its old, destructive patterns. Much like the Spanish Inquisition, though, “therapy” was not what I expected when I started my fanfic journey.
That journey started during my Tolkien fandom in the early ‘00s. I thought it was going to be just another way to indulge in Middle Earth. Looking back, I’m not sure I needed more indulgence: I was a member of Decipher’s Official Lord of the Rings Fan Club (yes, that one), I was active on online forums, and I hosted my own hobbit-themed website and forum. However, I was also deeply invested in the LOTR character I most related to, Merry Brandybuck, and I wished for more tales about his life. When I saw my friends discussing their favorite fanfic, that’s when I decided to write those tales myself. Looking back now, as a more seasoned writer, I see how I could greatly improve what I wrote back then. But, at that time, it was perfect because it fulfilled its purpose: giving me and my friends another way to immerse ourselves in our fandom.
After a while, my Tolkien fandom became less intense, and I spent less time on creative endeavors. It was almost two decades later when the creative bug bit me again, inspired by amazing stories and characters in games and anime. Then, as soon as I started writing, I became cognizant of a role that this creative process had both in my past and today. In short, it helped me wrangle my thoughts and emotions in ways that I couldn’t do IRL.
When I was a peak LOTR fan, I also faced some difficult real-world challenges. These included an identity crisis around my sexuality, a shift in religious beliefs, a layoff from my first tech job, a divorce, and having to move back in with my parents at age 30. All of that hit within a span of two years, and it all took an emotional toll. That was when I had my first diagnosis of anxiety and depression. I also learned that my anxiety was a chronic condition, explaining much about my life up to that point. When medications had wonky side effects, I decided to take heavy doses of LOTR fandom instead.
Fast forward to the paradigm of sheltering in place during the height of COVID-19. I found myself in a similar place emotionally. I’d found a good medication to manage my anxiety, but I also kept it in check through fandoms. I spent a lot of time with my favorite manga and anime, from the classic Rurouni Kenshin to the newer My Hero Academia. I also played story-based video games like the Persona series, Destiny, and Genshin Impact. When I felt the pull to engage more with these things, I opened a Google Doc and started creating some stories of my own.
That writing process has become the cognitive therapy I’ve needed without spending a dime. Instead of just escaping into my fandom, I now use the fandom as a tool for working through problems, both past and present. The characters can face adversity, conquer challenges, and embrace hope. The story becomes a safe space for me to experience those things, find solutions, and rewrite my cognition in positive ways. It’s a means of organizing chaotic thoughts that are keeping me awake at night, and it’s a way to channel my energy when I’m overly excited about something.
When I tell people about this, two questions inevitably come up. I’ll answer those here, too, in case you’re thinking the same thing.
Do you have to publish what you write? To get the benefits of the writing process itself, I don’t have to publish it. It could just sit in my Google Drive, where I can reread it later or share it with a fellow fan. When I feel good about what I’ve written, though, I’ll open AO3 and add it to my stories there. Posting stories online is a way to share my fandom with others and find an audience for what I’ve written. The comments are often encouraging and remind me that there are others who love these characters and stories as much as I do.
Why not spend that time writing original stories that you can sell? This is a valid question given that there isn’t any profit in fanfic writing without conflicting with copyright law. Having written some original stories, too, I can say that the process is equally therapeutic when it’s my original world and characters. However, when the primary goals are therapy and fan indulgence, it’s faster and easier to paint on an existing canvas where the rules of the world are already established. My “payment” is in the form of improved mental health and a fun story I can reread later. Plus, as a bonus, I get a steady stream of Kudos on AO3 to boost my confidence.
Do you write or read fanfic? What kinds of fanfic do you like and dislike? Tag me in a post in Circle, and let’s discuss!
