For years, I’ve been wondering something that I guess some other folks probably have as well. When will there be a fitting third movie in the Valentine’s Day Slasher genre? I wasn’t the only one! If you’re asking what the original two movies are, get your head out of your ass. They are obviously My Bloody Valentine and Valentine, starring David Boreanaz and Denise Richards.
Well, my friends, I need not wonder any longer. Let me introduce you to Heart Eyes, the new movie from director Josh Ruben, starring Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding. When the Heart Eyes Killer returns on Valentine’s Day to snuff out loving relationships in Seattle, he mistakes new acquaintances (possibly enemies), Ally and Jay, for viable targets. Let the stabby stab stab commence!!
However, whereas My Bloody Valentine and Valentine were fairly straightforward slasher films, Heart Eyes is more of a romantic comedy where the conflict in the second act arises from a stalking masked killer.
And it f*cking works.
Ally (Olivia Holt) is having a tough time. Her Hail Mary marketing plan at her advertising firm job hinges on the concept of “til death do us part.” Clever. However, it’s not so tactful when the Heart Eyes Killer, a serial killer that targets couples on Valentine’s Day, is rampaging through the city. Whoopsie! Ally’s gonna get fiiiiired!
What makes it worse is when the cute guy she serendipitously met at a coffee shop is brought in to troubleshoot the whole mess. Jay (Mason Gooding) is smooth, intelligent, and also really into Ally. Why don’t they have a romantic dinner to talk about work? Yeah, sure Jay, you suave son-of-a-bitch.
All doesn’t go to plan in the romance department, but regardless, a kiss is stolen, and that garners unwanted attention…
…from the Heart Eyes Killer!
The first thing that I noticed was the tone of this film. It is not your average slasher murder mystery. First and foremost, it’s a romantic comedy. Yeah, sure, it’s a romantic black comedy, but it definitely has the structure of a classic Hugh Grant movie. Girl meets boy, and there’s an instant attraction, but their chemistry is hidden behind witty barbs and hatred. Girl and boy get to know one another and start to realise they could probs make it work. BUT WAIT! CONFLICT! Yadda, yadda, yadda, end on a kiss.
The conflict on this occasion is the Heart Eyes Killer and his penchant for skewering young lovers. It makes for both a good reason for Ally and Jay to bond (who wouldn’t bond over almost dying together?) and a justification for why they shouldn’t be together. The comedy, romance and violence combo is thoroughly entertaining, culminating in some memorable moments. Yes, I’m looking at you, Drive-in Movie scene!
But what is a romantic comedy without its leads? Nothing, that’s what. Olivia Holt and Mason Gooding bring a whole lotta chemistry to their star-crossed characters. I was rooting for this not-yet-a-couple to get it together throughout the film, and they played their victim roles to perfection! It shouldn’t have been a surprise because both have done some fantastic work in past horror-comedies: Holt in Totally Killer and Gooding as part of the Core Four in the Scream requels.
Objectively, although it didn’t hamper my enjoyment one bit, some of the acting is a bit hammy. The by-the-book cops Hobbs (Chucky alum, Devon Sawa) and Shaw (Jordana Brewster) are probably the most egregious, but it is pretty fitting for the genre. It’s a wink and a nudge to the audience saying, “Hey, it could be us, you know?” That’s what a good slasher does at the end of the day. It makes you question everything and everyone, and sometimes, the best way to convey that is with untrustworthy characters that ham it up.
My main gripe with Heart Eyes, though, is its pacing. The beginning was fast and phrenetic, and it kept me on the edge of my seat. Around the 70-minute mark, however, it came to a grinding halt. These things can happen in slasher films, usually encompassing a big reveal followed by a false sense of security just before a big surprise finish. Because of its 97-minute runtime, this didn’t have the desired effect.
To make things worse, the pacing affected the ending confrontation sequence, too. With the elongated lull, I didn’t feel that ending crescendo to the unmasking moment that I love so much. Who doesn’t remember the Scream reveal as the house party comes to a close and Ghostface runs amok? What I’ll remember about Heart Eyes is the excellent middle section of the movie and a fairly lackluster unmasking.
I can admit that Heart Eyes has its problems. In particular, its pacing in the final third leaves much to be desired, tainting the final confrontation segment with the Heart Eyes Killer. Some acting, although true to the genre, is kinda schlocky and over-the-top to the extent that it may even pull you out of the film.
However…
I freaking loved this movie. It hit my specialised taste buds with all of my favorite flavors that I could not help but smile from ear to ear. It’s a slasher romantic comedy, for flip’s sake! Fantastic kill sequences, a whodunnit mystery, a corny will-they won’t-they romance, and it’s so funny as well! Hell, let’s add some bonus points: they put a Fast and the Furious reference in this (Hobbs and Shaw are the detectives, like The Rock and Jason Statham in the FF franchise)! What more could I ask?
Unapologetically, I would recommend Heart Eyes to anyone. Not every person will thank me for that, but you should give it a try. It’s a fun time, and it unequivocally lands itself firmly in my Valentine’s Day Slasher Trilogy.
