Christmas 2021. I finally contracted the dreaded VID after ducking it for almost two years. I’d received a vaccine or two, so I was fine but curled up on the sofa, feeling sorry for myself. After doom-scrolling YouTube for the thousandth and first time between naps, I came upon The Christmas Maze.
It was one of the best results of a doom-scroll I’ve ever had.
Let’s back up for one second, and I’ll tell you about a little game show in the UK called The Crystal Maze. In the early 1990s, Channel 4 created a show that put a group of civilians into the television equivalent to WarioWare. The aim was to win as many crystals as they could by standing victorious in the minigames and thwarting the Maze Master, Richard O’Brian (later Ed Tudor-Pole and Richard Ayoade). The more they win, the more time they have in the final challenge in the CRYSTAL DOME!
So, to sum up, contestants do wacky challenges to earn rewards in order to make the finale easier.
PlayStation Access, the official YouTube channel of PlayStation UK, has recreated the spirit of this game show with video specials each Christmas. Rob, rebranding himself as the evil alter-ego Robert S. Pearson, concocts the cast of Dave, Rosie and Ash video game challenges to win legally distinct “crystal baubles.” Those crystal baubles are needed to help thwart the Maze Master in the final confrontation.
I’ve watched this series of Christmas specials for the last two years, and it has become essential Christmas viewing! It’s hilarious and, sometimes, just sometimes, very tense. And sometimes both. One moment from last year’s opening episode perfectly encapsulates this.
The challenge was to beat Robert S. Pearson’s speedrun times in Astro’s Playroom. No mean feat. It was down to the last level and Rosie was struggling with time running out. All of the while, Dave and Ash were commentating but also, unknowingly, poking the bear. The bear being Rosie. When the time ran out on her final attempt, and she heard Ash and Dave pointing out the mistakes, Rosie exploded, “I AM AWARE OF THE SITUATION!” I almost wet myself.
That was in the first episode!
There was also a moment where Dave was challenged to kidnap, hogtie and leave a civilian on train tracks to be run over (a la silent movies) in Red Dead Redemption 2. With the timer counting down, all that could be done was hope that a train would arrive in the nick of time. Would it make it? Would it be late (like all trains in the UK)?
Hijinks abound in this series, and I’m here for it! It’s a highlight of my holiday season. So, if you’re in need of some holiday fun and video game shenanigans, then watch The Christmas Maze like me.
Gotta love video game game shows. I miss Gamesmaster.